10 mistakes that ruin relationships you about to read have destroyed many good relations. The write up is based on experiences of family and friends as well as researched. It is aimed at helping those in relationships to guard their steps and actions towards saving their relations if they can since failure can lead to heartbreaks, stress, and much pain.
The year 2020 is so new. Many will enter into new relationships. For some, it will be their first-ever attempt but for many, it will be a reshuffle of cards from one relationship to the other.
Below are 10 mistakes that ruin relationships that you need to watch in 2020 as individuals and partners to make your relationships work.
1. IDEALIZE THE PARTNER
It usually occurs in the early periods. Think of your partner as Prince Charming or your goddess does not stimulate the emotional tension that comes from his rough sides.
Moreover, you may feel disappointed as soon as the first difficulties related to what was not visible in the “blinders” phase are presented.
Get out of ‘spiral shit by reminding yourself that any relationship is chaotic and imperfect. It’s up to you to create something that works, with a constant work of common growth and personal improvement.
2. HIDE “NEGATIVE” EMOTIONS
Trying to continually adjust the direction of your partner instead of saying what you feel (sadness, anger, desolation) shows that your relationship travels on the land without a free and clear expression of emotions.
Society and parental education, unfortunately, has never encouraged our emotions to flow.
Stuck in the head that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obliged to support you but that, of course, you would still like to have his support.
3. KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP HOSTAGE
Continually putting the relationship into play means blackmailing your partner by threatening engagement in the couple.
Example: note on the other side coldness or apathy and you do not say “I feel distant and cold at times” but “I cannot be with such a cold person”.
Emotional blackmail creates tons of unnecessary drama. News: negative thoughts and bad things can be communicated. The next time something is not right for you, instead of threatening your relationship even as a joke (“look, I’ll leave you and I find a more affectionate one”), free yourself and try to understand what you need.
4. BLAME THE PARTNER FOR WHAT YOU ARE FEELING
This is a subtle form of selfishness. It’s afternoon, it’s raining outside, you’re having a bad day and your partner isn’t particularly supportive. It was on the phone all day for his affairs, to agree on things with friends and you felt distracted when you said goodbye.
In the evening you want to see a movie together while he would like to go out and drink something with his work colleagues, so you begin to lash out against each other for his insensitivity and lack of empathy towards you.
If you set the relationship by indicating your partner as responsible for what you are feeling then you will develop an attitude of co-dependency.
Of course, it can happen to be pissed off with your woman because you had a bad day, you’re frustrated and you need attention, it’s understandable. But if you expect that life revolves around your emotional well-being at all times (or vice versa) then you have just purchased the one-way ticket for a manipulative relationship. Take a little attention, okay?
5. Mistakes That Ruin Relationships – BEING “ROMANTICALLY” JEALOUS
Myspace, there are few cocks, being jealous inevitably leads to unhealthy behaviour.
Cell phone control, access to mail/facebook accounts or even surprise ambushes indicate a level of jealousy aimed at creating an environment of control and consequent emotional struggle.
If you are jealous you are sending a message of lack of confidence in the other person. I am surprised to know that many people describe these behaviours as a kind of demonstration of affection.
Trust your partner, it’s a radical and difficult idea to accept but it’s the only way. Perhaps the only one that allows you to fully accept the person in front of you.
6. BUY SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEMS WITH COUPLES
When a good fucking conflict emerges in a couple of relationships, have you ever tried to solve it by trying to buy something as beautiful as a trip or a dinner? Well, it is not as beautiful as it seems because it is equivalent to sweeping the problem under the carpet with the risk of seeing it again presented in other respects.
7. STOP ATTRACTING SEXUALLY
Not feeling more physical attraction towards the partner can create fear and anxiety. I know. You don’t have to stop being attractive to everyone when you’re engaged in a relationship. If you stop training, take care of your friendships or dress carefully then you are killing the emotional tension.
8. TRY TO SOLVE EVERY SINGLE CONFLICT
The idea that the couple must communicate and resolve each type of problem individually is a myth.
Successful couples often accept and understand that some conflicts are inevitable, that they cannot control everything, that there will always be some small things that will not see them in agreement, but that’s ok anyway! Stop feeling obliged to change a person to be able to love them.
In an attempt to resolve some conflicts with your partner, you could create new problems. Not all battles deserve to be fought. And sometimes the best strategy is “live and let live”.
9. DON’T BE WILLING TO HURT OTHERS
You must do something for the couple that is not the simple thing to make your partner happy all the time.
Serenity comes unexpectedly even when all other things are going well. Don’t hold back your anger, sadness or your opinion just because you might find yourself in disagreement.
After all the lies have been said and forgotten, the truth is still there. It does not go anywhere and does not change at any moment. It cannot be corrupted, just as salt cannot be salted.
10. Mistakes That Ruin Relationships – DON’T SPEND TIME ON YOURSELF
In a relationship, we often sacrifice much of our time to “be together”. Sometimes it is necessary to be distant to affirm independence, to maintain certain passions and interests that are simply yours.
Take care to have some friends with whom you go out, do small trips or occasional dinners.
Without this space dedicated to you, without the oxygen to breathe, the fire in the couple will go out and the ones that once were sparking will only become frictions.
Try to avoid these 10 mistakes that ruin relationships. This will save your relationships from several possible red lights. It will keep you both in the relationship you have toiled to build. Mistakes that ruin relationships must be a thing of the past, cherish your relationship work at saving it now.